New 'Birth Control And Alcohol Pairings' Is A Subtle Way To Tell The CDC To Shove It

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Three days ago, the Centers For Disease Control and Prevention released a statement which advised women who drank alcohol to be on birth control, and to stop drinking alcohol as soon as they stopped using said birth control. Essentially, women should either stop drinking, or stop having unprotected sex. 
This press release was not received warmly by many women, who felt that they were being condescended to and told what to do with their bodies. Not to mention the fact that there are many women in the United States who don't actually have access to birth control, thanks to the persistent Planned Parenthood witch hunts.  
 So. What's a sexually active, alcohol-drinking gal to do? 
Food artist Katie Stephens responded to the rather insulting CDC edict by creating this handy infographic to guide women on which birth control option might just tickle their fancy, based on their preferred alcoholic drink.

Because if we're going to be told what to do with our bodies, why not just make it easier for everyone involved and give us a handy reference chart? 
Now, figuring out which type of birth control you need to obtain (whether it's covered by your insurance or not) is totally idiot-proof! Which is good, because the CDC seems to have clear concerns about the rampant levels of idiocy among modern women. 
Which one of these combos is right for you? Are you more of a classic Red Wine/Pill type of gal? Or is the concentrated Shot/Whiskey duo more your speed? And for those of you more frugal ladies out there, don't neglect the Condom/Beer option. 
Stephens thinks this may just be the perfect way to implement the CDC's (less-than-stellar) plan. 
"Trust me," she writes. "I'm an expert. Drink up ladies."

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